What's The #1 Reason Women Do Boudoir Sessions?

If I was a woman and glanced out over the boudoir photography industry for the first time ever, I'd quickly think it was a very strange place... and likely even change my mind about doing a boudoir shoot. Well, if you had the same thought, you wouldn't be incorrect. The world of boudoir has truly become strange, and during the weird decade long transition, the very simple purpose of boudoir photography has been lost as photographers have tried to remake boudoir photography into something it isn't.

This understanding sets the stage for our discussion today on how women love the idea of boudoir, but have been increasingly turned off by boudoir photographers, that, well, you'll see what I mean in a minute...

Hello, I'm Mike Cassidy, a long time photographer from New Jersey who focuses on these personal portraits. With a history of over 15 years capturing the essence of hundreds of women through my camera as a "pro," and even more years before that as an amateur, I have observed the transformative influence of these sessions directly.

From the start my sessions have pretty much always been about two things that many boudoir photographers don't seem to be interested in marketing any longer: Creating a great gift... and fun! Let's take a look.

Key Takeaways

• Women choose boudoir sessions mainly for personal empowerment and celebrating body positivity.

• These sessions often serve as unique gifts for partners, marking significant milestones like weddings or anniversaries with a focus on confidence and self-expression.

• A fun and empowering experience is key in boudoir photography, contrary to some industry trends focusing on negative portrayals of women's fragility.

• The choice of photographer matters greatly; it's important to select someone who emphasizes joy, strength, and the celebration of individual beauty during the session.

• Boudoir photography misconceptions need correction, including false claims about fixing mental health issues by unlicensed individuals.

The # 1 Reason Women Do Boudoir Sessions

I'm going to get you in on a little secret. After working with hundreds of women-- if anyone knows why women are doing boudoir shoots, it's certainly me! The top reason women choose to have boudoir photo shoots is... Ta Da! FOR A GIFT! It's fun. It's silly. It's a bit wild. They enjoy stepping out of their comfort zones, celebrating milestones in a photography session that boosts confidence. Why is this such a surprise? Well, let's see.

As A Special Gift for Partners!

Every year, as Christmas approaches, or during the peak of Spring wedding season, I observe an influx of women with a definitive objective: they aspire to gift something truly unique and personal. They opt for boudoir photography sessions. Boudoir is a great gift idea! And since the inception of boudoir photography, the idea of "boudoir as a gift" has been overwhelmingly the inspiration for women to visit their local photographers. It's fairly simple and obvious.

For a lot of women this extends beyond merely taking attractive photos. It involves an exploration of personal empowerment and the commemoration of significant relationship milestones. Women convey their desire for a unique and personal way to celebrate occasions like weddings, anniversaries, or their partner's birthdays.

Boudoir photography transcends mere images; it's about encapsulating moments that narrate profound stories.

Over my 15 years as a photographer, I've conducted innumerable sessions, each unique and deeply personal. Clients frequently share that these sessions gently encourage them to step out of their comfort zones while remaining anchored in body positivity-- and the boudoir studio provides a safe place for them to share that part of themselves.

Consequently, the final product stands out for its intimacy and its celebration of confidence and strength. Through my perspective, I've witnessed the remarkable transition - from initial nervousness to radiant pride in acknowledging their inherent beauty and strength. It's what makes me enjoy my job.

Women Want a Fun and Empowering Experience

Boudoir sessions provide a fun and empowering experience for women. I see this every time I work with clients. They walk into the studio feeling nervous but leave glowing with confidence. Simply put-- they have a blast.

The entire day feels like a special occasion. It offers pampering, glamour, and celebration of individual beauty.

Women look for this unique chance to embrace their strength. A boudoir session serves as more than just photos; it builds self-esteem and creates lasting memories. Each woman deserves that moment of joy in her life, especially during milestone celebrations like anniversaries or birthdays.

Clients tell me they feel beautiful and powerful when they see themselves through my lens, which is exactly what boudoir photography should be about! And, bottom line is that boudoir photography is pretty much as fun as a gift can be-- for everyone involved.

However, many boudoir photographers were simply not satisfied with fun and gifts-- and felt they needed to add something more-- well, actually in this case they wanted to add less... why have fun when boudoir can be all about... misery!

Boudoir Photographers Have Turned Their Industry Into A Dark and Strange Place...

The slide of boudoir photography down the "Slope of Misery" has been interesting to observe over the past 10 years. Boudoir photography should celebrate joy and confidence, but some photographers increasingly created a mixed message that focuses on gloom. For the boudoir photographer community it's been "bye-bye fun" and "welcome gloom and psycho-babble." There has been a growing wave of depicting women as fragile or broken, which isn’t true, and photographers increasingly marketing their sessions in a quasi-therapeutic manner to "heal" the miseries of the world.

Many Boudoir Photographers Increasingly Take the "Fun" Out of Boudoir And Focus on Misery - We Don't Know Why!

Over the past decade many boudoir photographers shifted their focus from joy and having fun to boudoir photography as a "tool" for healing mental health issues. They increasingly portrayed women as broken or in need of fixing. The interesting part has been witnessing this "Slope of Misery" as they transitioned boudoir from fun-- to boosting insecurities-- to fixing/rebuilding broken women-- to the latest step down the ladder, managing trauma.

You'll witness tons of copy on boudoir photographers website talking about unfairness, pain, trauma, rebuilding, making women whole-- and the list of doom just goes on and on. This approach surprises me because boudoir shoots should celebrate confidence and beauty.

Instead of uplifting women and having a positive message, many photographers increasingly emphasize negativity. I have seen this trend too often in the industry over the past decade.

Boudoir photography shines when it captures fun moments and genuine smiles. It should empower, not have it's photographers positioning themselves as mental health professionals, when they are most certainly not. My goal is always to highlight a woman's strength and elegance during each session-- and this is what boudoir should be!

Pro tip: Choosing the right photographer can make all the difference in your experience. Seek those who prioritize enjoyment over gloominess in their work! Odds are a "doom and gloom" boudoir photographer isn't going to be a ton of laughs to work with. --And the "doom and gloomers" are everywhere.

Boudoir Photographers Often Portray Women As "Broken" - This Is Simply Not True!

It would be pretty common to see boudoir photographers portraying women as "broken," but, as we know this is simply not true! Women come to sessions for many reasons, and feeling broken isn't one of them. My experience in the industry shows that most women seek empowerment through boudoir photography. My professional opinion after working with hundreds of women is that women are pretty OK.

Women simply want to celebrate their beauty and confidence, and get a cute gift. Boudoir photographers, en masse, are so hung up on "broken woman marketing" that if you knew nothing at about women, an decided to use boudoir photographer's websites as your only source of knowledge about American women... you'd think women couldn't even function, and wallow through their daily lives in states of misery and depression.

Why? This is a big mystery! Maybe wanting to make themselves sound more important than they are. Part of it is that boudoir photographers aren't exactly a group of independent thinkers. They all copy each other, without thinking much about why they are doing what they are doing. They do it simply because they saw someone else espousing doom and gloom, so that must be the right thig to do. And perhaps in thinking "a little salt makes things good... therefore tons of salt will it way better" there's been this increasing one upmanship (upwomanship?) over the years to make their boudoir "more special" espousing they can "heal" more than the next photographer, or "manage" a range of increasingly serious range of mental health issues with their service.

This increasing desire of boudoir photographers wanting to "fix" clients leads to more and more talk on their websites about how "broken" women are and how the photographer is just the right person to "fix" them. What the photographer's don't realize, is this weird slide has alienated an increasing number of boudoir photography clients simply looking for a fun photo shoot without an unqualified dose of "therapy." Granted, a boudoir shoot is an empowering experience, but these photographers have simply gone way too far.

Boudoir Photographers May Promote Fixing of "Mental Health Issues" - When They Are Not Licensed Mental Health Professionals! -- Which Is Frightening.

An ever increasing number of boudoir photographers claim they are fixing, or at the least managing, "mental health issues." This statement raises serious concerns. I would guess all of these photographers lack proper mental health credentials. As well intentioned as they may be, they are not licensed professionals equipped to handle such matters.

Next stop? Trauma! The latest stop on the "Slope of Misery" for boudoir photographers is trauma. You'll see an increasing number of photographers now claiming to be "trauma specialists" or "trauma-informed." This approach conveniently expands their "broken woman" approach, further widening their scope and positioning themselves in the role of "fixer" for a wider range of women.

People unaware of boudoir photography may think I'm crazy-- but it's everywhere! Imagine a restaurant, say SweetGreen, filling their website with text about how life is so unfair for women and how damaged women are-- and marketing themselves as "trauma specialists" and their salads as being "trauma healing." When you enter the restaurant for your lunch, a "salad counselor" comes and sits next to you to rebuild you while you munch on carrots and vinaigrette. They tell you how carrots will help mend your pain and enable you see yourself in a new light and become whole again. You need this "salad therapy" to heal, because we know, all women are broken. That would be 100% bizarre and no restaurant company would ever think of this marketing bizarre approach, but in boudoir photography-- it's game on!

Boudoir photography should focus on celebrating beauty and confidence, rather than addressing psychological problems. --Let alone to mention that I'm pretty certain 99.8% of boudoir photographers are probably not qualified to treat mental health conditions-- nor should they advertise that's what they are doing. Sound pretty strange? Welcome to boudoir!

Hopefully, for the unfortunate women who have experienced a traumatic situation and have suffered-- their first thought isn't "Boy, I need help. A boudoir photographer with 5 months of photography experience will get me back on track..." I also understand that there are women who have been through difficult times, and can benefit from a certain amount of positivity and understanding if they choose to participate in a boudoir shoot, but in typical fashion, the photography community just takes it five levels too far.

I firmly believe that clients deserve a fun and empowering experience during their sessions. It is crucial to select a photographer who understands this perspective. I'd strongly recommend anyone to avoid those who promote fixing personal struggles without the necessary training or expertise.

Remember: Anyone can call themselves a "pro" boudoir photographer-- it means nothing. It can very much be the case that "pro" boudoir photographer may have only a few months ago been an MLM "Boss Babe" going bananas on Instagram trying to convince people to join her MLM cult, and now just a few months later she is advertising her magical powers to heal mental health issues as a boudoir photographer.

--Well, now actually, that I think about it a bit... I've seen what some of these crazy MLM people do to get people to join their pyramid cults, so it shouldn't be much of a surprise. 🤣

The Boudoir Industry Needs to Get Back Focusing on Fun

The boudoir industry must shift back to joy and excitement. Fun should dominate every photoshoot, bringing out the best in women. I personally believe the industry will either self-correct, or these photographers will be legislated away from advertising themselves as fixing mental health issues. --They're also running out of medical conditions to claim to heal, as well.

Either way, as I noted earlier, they have abandoned a huge chunk of their potential client bases who don't want, and didn't ask for, all this piled on "counseling" as part of their boudoir shoots.

If You're Looking For a Fun Wedding Gift, Don't Choose A Photographer Focusing on Misery

Finding the right wedding gift can be a challenge. Boudoir photography is a big part of the wedding industry, as every year brides enjoy giving boudoir gifts. Oh, the stories I've been told by brides who refused to work with photographers when all they wanted was a cute wedding gift, and got an earful of "rebuilding" talk during a consultation. I recommend steering clear of photographers who focus on sadness or broken women when you want a fun gift. Boudoir photography should celebrate joy and confidence, not misery.

Choose someone who emphasizes fun and empowerment instead.

In my experience as a boudoir photographer, I see how women blossom during sessions that prioritize enjoyment. The smiles, laughter, and excitement shine through in photos when clients feel liberated.

Selecting a photographer with this positive outlook makes all the difference in creating memorable images that truly reflect your loved ones' beauty and spirit.

Conclusion

Women do boudoir sessions for many reasons. Most commonly, they want to gift their partners something unique and personal. This experience also offers them a chance to feel fun and empowered.

Boudoir photography should be about joy, not misery or healing past wounds. The focus should always be on celebrating yourself and enjoying the day!

Explore boudoir photography that promotes positivity. Select photographers who prioritize fun over sadness. I encourage you to embrace this opportunity for self-expression and empowerment.

Every woman deserves a moment of glamour in her life! Step into your session with excitement and love for yourself!

FAQs

1. What is a boudoir session?

A boudoir session refers to a style of photography that captures intimate, romantic, and sometimes erotic images of its subjects in a private dressing room or bedroom setting.

2. Why do women choose to participate in boudoir sessions?

The number one reason women choose to participate in boudoir sessions is often tied to self-expression and empowerment. It provides an opportunity for them to embrace their bodies, celebrate their femininity, and boost their self-esteem.

3. Are there any specific preparations needed before doing a boudoir session?

Preparations for a boudoir session can vary based on personal preferences but may include selecting outfits or lingerie that make you feel confident and comfortable, discussing your vision with the photographer, and mentally preparing yourself for the experience.

4. Can someone else be present during my Boudoir Session?

Yes! You are allowed to have someone accompany you during your Boudoir Session if it makes you more at ease; just ensure this person won't hinder the process or distract from capturing those beautiful moments.