Unfiltered Boudoir FAQs: The Questions You Really Want Answers To 😉

⚠️ Warning: This post covers topics of a sexual nature and might make some people blush. If that’s not your thing, feel free to hit the back button—no hard feelings! But if you’re ready to dive into the spicy side of boudoir, stick around. Let’s get real. 😉

Boudoir photography is such a unique and fun experience—one that I’ve had the privilege of creating for hundreds of women across New Jersey and Ocean County over the years. Whether it’s capturing stunning, artistic images to celebrate a milestone or helping someone rediscover their confidence, boudoir sessions are about so much more than just pretty pictures. They’re about fun, beauty, and yes—let’s be real—they’re also a killer gift idea. Husbands, boyfriends, and partners go wild over these personalized, intimate keepsakes.

But let’s be honest. While some clients come in for the experience, the confidence boost, or to check off a personal bucket list item, others? They’re here to make some seriously spicy content. And honestly—why not? A boudoir session is the perfect time to tap into that confident, sensual side of yourself that doesn’t always get the spotlight in day-to-day life.

So if you’ve been wondering whether you’re the only one with a few bold or extra fun ideas for your shoot, I’m here to tell you—you’re not. Not even close.

In this post, we’re getting into it. The juicy, awkward, and sometimes hilarious questions you might not feel comfortable asking out loud. These are the things that happen in the studio that most photographers won’t talk about on their websites.

But we’re all adults here—so let’s pull back the curtain and have some fun.

Ready? Let’s go. 😏

Q: Are women really doing wild stuff in a boudoir shoot?

The short answer? Some are. Some aren’t.

Plenty of women book a boudoir session just to do a few cute, sexy photos for a partner—or themselves. Maybe a flirty peek of lingerie, a little sultry eye contact, and that’s about as far as it goes. Totally classic. Totally beautiful.

But over the past decade, especially here in New Jersey, things have definitely shifted. I’ve seen a huge increase in the number of women who are interested in creating more erotic or explicit content during their session. We’re talking about everything from nude sets to steamy couples photos, solo video content, and more creatively suggestive poses.

It’s not about shock value—it’s about self-expression. A lot of women today are feeling more confident in their bodies and more comfortable embracing their sexuality. And a boudoir shoot gives them a safe, private space to explore that.

So no, not every woman is doing “wild stuff” in a boudoir shoot. But if you're thinking about going there? You're definitely not alone.

Q: Is it okay to masturbate during a boudoir shoot? 🫢 Do women ever actually do that?

Okay... deep breath. Let’s talk about it.

First of all—yes, this question comes up more often than you’d think. And no, you’re not the only one who’s wondered.

Here’s the deal: a boudoir session can definitely get very sexy, especially when someone’s doing a more erotic or OnlyFans-style shoot. But that said—there’s a difference between feeling sexy and turning the session into a full-blown adult film. This is still a professional setting, and I always keep things respectful and focused on creating beautiful images or content that you’re proud to look back on (and maybe even show someone special 😉).

Do some women explore themselves a little more than usual during a shoot? Yes, it’s happened. Especially in private, solo video sessions where the intention is to create more explicit material. But that’s always discussed in advance, and it’s handled with care and professionalism.

So is it okay? It depends. If we’ve talked about it beforehand and it’s part of a private, custom session created just for you—sure. But if someone just shows up and starts going for it without warning? That’s a nope. There’s got to be clear communication, consent, and comfort on both sides.

Bottom line: This is your shoot. If you have bold ideas, we can talk about them and figure out what works best. Nothing shocks me anymore. Promise.

Q: Do you ever get awkward taking such intimate photos?

Sigh …Honestly? Yeah. I’m kind of naturally introverted, and in the early years of doing boudoir, I kept things pretty tame. My sessions leaned more toward the “cute and classy” side, and I didn’t really see the need for anything too explicit. After all, by definition, boudoir isn’t about being graphic—it’s about sensuality, suggestion, and beauty.

But over time, I started noticing something.

Some clients were coming in really excited about the idea of creating bold, erotic content. Not just flirty photos for a partner, but images or video that pushed boundaries and embraced their sexuality in a big way. And you know what? They were having a blast doing it. They felt good. They looked incredible. And they were thrilled with the results.

That’s when I had a little realization: this experience isn’t about me. I’m here to guide and create, not limit what someone wants to express. If a woman wants to go a bit “wilder” during her session and she feels confident doing it? Who am I to say no?

So yeah—I evolved. I learned how to photograph everything in a way that still felt artistic, flattering, and tasteful, even when the content leaned more erotic. I still approach every shoot with the same goal: to make someone look beautiful and attractive on camera.

And if I’m being totally honest? I probably still have a little “swan energy” going on during those sessions. Calm and composed on the surface… but underneath, yeah—I’m paddling a bit. 😅

Q: Is it okay to have a glass of wine (or two) beforehand to loosen up?

Totally fair question—and I get it. Nerves are real! A lot of people think having a glass of wine beforehand might help them relax and feel a little more confident in front of the camera.

Here’s my take: One glass? Fine. Maybe even helpful. But more than that and we start to run into issues.

You don’t want to be tipsy during your shoot. It might feel like a good idea in the moment, but it can make it harder to follow posing direction, stay balanced (yes, I’ve seen wobbly heels), and honestly… it shows in the photos. Boudoir is all about being present and connecting with the camera, and that gets tricky if you’re not totally dialed in.

Plus, the energy during the shoot is actually a big part of the fun. Most women tell me that once we start and they get into it, the nerves go away pretty fast—and they end up having way more fun than they expected without needing anything to take the edge off.

So yes, if a small glass helps you ease into the mood, that’s okay. But keep it classy, not clumsy. 😉

Q: Can I bring toys or props to my session?

The short answer: Yes—but always check with your photographer first.

Not every boudoir photographer is open to creating explicit content, so it’s important to know where they stand before you start packing a suitcase full of surprises. Some photographers-- especially around Ocean County boudoir studios-- focus strictly on classic, romantic imagery and may not be comfortable producing more erotic work. That’s totally fine—just make sure you’re on the same page before the shoot.

That said, yes—many women bring toys or props to create spicier shots for a partner. Most of these are done in an implied or artistic way, keeping things suggestive rather than graphic. But then came the era of boudoir videos, and let’s just say… things escalated quickly. 😅

Suddenly, women wanted to incorporate their toys into private video content, which opened up a whole new realm of creativity (and a whole new bag of worms). If that’s something you’re considering, I strongly encourage having a conversation with your photographer ahead of time. This kind of content usually requires a bit of extra planning—and trust me, your photographer has probably seen and heard it all.

Bottom line? If it’s important to you, ask. You’re definitely not the first to bring it up.

Q: Can I bring another guy who’s not my husband? 😳

Believe it or not, this type of request is becoming more common in NJ boudoir photography—and yes, it’s a growing trend in boudoir.

I’ll be honest: I was skeptical about these kinds of sessions at first. But after working with several women who wanted to explore this style of shoot, I’ve come to realize something important—these sessions are often a ton of fun. The women who book them are confident, clear about what they want, and genuinely excited to create something bold and personal.

That said, I only organize these sessions directly with the women involved. Like every boudoir shoot I offer, clear communication and consent are non-negotiable, and it's important that everything is arranged by the woman who’s actually booking the session. That just keeps things comfortable and respectful for everyone.

And yes, these so-called “cuckold” sessions come in all shapes and sizes. Some are pretty tame and suggestive—think steamy glances and body language with a bit of an edge—while others push into more explicit territory. There’s no one “right” way to do it. The goal is to create something that feels exciting and authentic to you.

So if this is something you’ve been thinking about… you’re definitely not the only one. Just make sure you’re working with a photographer who’s open to it—because not everyone will be.

Q: Do you ever get turned on during a session?

Ah yes… that question.

Believe it or not, I’ve actually been asked this by clients from time to time. And I get why—on the surface, it probably seems like I’m surrounded by beautiful, half-dressed women all day, and some people assume it must be this constant whirlwind of temptation.

But the truth? It’s really not like that.

I kind of compare it to a chocolate lover working in a chocolate shop. Sure, at first it might seem exciting… but when you’re around it every day, it just becomes part of the job. And in my case, I’m usually way too focused on lighting, angles, composition, and not screwing up someone’s once-in-a-lifetime experience to be thinking about things in that way.

So no—I don’t recall ever becoming aroused during a session. There’s just too much going on behind the scenes to get distracted like that. I’m there to guide, create, and make someone feel amazing in front of the camera—not to insert myself into the moment.

It’s work. Fun, creative, rewarding work—but work nonetheless.

Q: Do women ever fake orgasms in boudoir videos?

The behind-the-scenes answer? Yes. It happens.

Keep in mind, when it comes to boudoir videos, we’re often working in the world of illusion—just like in film. Some clients want to create something super sultry and dramatic, and part of that might include acting out a moment for effect. Nothing wrong with a little performance if it fits the vision.

Bottom line? It’s your shoot. Whether you're being fully real or a little theatrical—it’s all about creating the vibe you want.

Q: Do people ever ask to do fully nude photos?

They do—and it’s honestly more common than most people think.

Nudity has been a part of boudoir since the beginning. But let’s be clear: there is zero requirement to be nude in any boudoir session. It’s all about comfort. Some women feel amazing in lingerie, others might want to go topless, and a few choose to include fully nude shots as part of their session.

If I had to give an unscientific guess, I’d say around half of the sessions I shoot include some nudity. But it’s usually just a portion—not the whole shoot. Most clients mix it up with a few outfits, maybe some implied nudes, and then decide how far they want to go once they’re feeling comfortable.

At the end of the day, it’s your call. Boudoir is about what makes you feel good.

Final Thoughts

Boudoir isn’t always about lace and lipstick and soft lighting. Sometimes, it’s about curiosity. Sometimes, it’s about fantasy. And sometimes, it’s about asking the questions you were too nervous to Google at 2 a.m.

The truth is—there’s no one way to do a boudoir shoot. Whether you’re showing up with a suitcase full of lingerie or a bottle of wine and a bold idea, it’s your experience. What matters most is that you feel good about what we create together.

So if your ideas feel a little out there, or you're worried about being the only one with a "weird" question—relax. You're not the first, and you definitely won’t be the last. I’ve seen a little bit of everything, and I’m here to help you make it happen, judgment-free.

Thanks for hanging out and diving into the unfiltered side of boudoir. If you’ve got more questions—I’m just a message away.