Updated: Aug 28
Anti-tips? Yes! Have you been thinking about a boudoir session lately? Well, let's be honest here... There isn't really much to think about! Shopping for boudoir is so straight forward and simple... anyone can do it! And on top of all that, a special occasion like a boudoir session really doesn't deserve much of your valuable time, anyway. It's hardly even worth writing a blog post about... So, not to waste any more of your day, below are a few straight forward anti-tips to ensure your boudoir session will pretty much be the "Meh..." experience you were hoping for!
1> Wait till the absolute last minute to book a boudoir session...
Thinking of booking a boudoir session for an upcoming occasion? Fabulous. As a gift that will be cherished for years, the best way to plan for it is to definitely wait till the last minute! You took over a year to plan your wedding, but hey...let's not get nutty here-- For your boudoir session spending any more than an hour or so would be supremely over doing it! All things considered, you should probably allocate a solid 15 - 20 minutes for planning this special activity (including reading this post.)
Ideally, once that time is invested in research, start reaching out to photographers a week or so before your anniversary or wedding date-- when you absolutely need your gift in-hand. After all, how much time can this possibly take??? You're busy, and in this age of "Amazon Prime" if anything takes more than two days... is it really worth it after all? Actually, it pretty much shows that if the photographers can't "produce" in a weeks time, they are probably not really on the ball anyway, and if you get any responses from photographers about it "not being enough time..." you're reply to them should be "Next!!!"
Pro Tip: Want to save a few more days? OMG! You are busy... Really, you may only need to wait five days before you need your album to schedule. Remember, Amazon can get you a new patio set in two days... I'm sure a local photographer can do their job in five.
2> Definitely pick your photographer by lowest price.
By far the best strategy for shopping for your boudoir photographer is simply going website to website (which is already a pain in the ass... can't there really be an easier way??) scanning for a Pricing page, and simply finding the lowest price. This is pure common sense but I thought I'd add it here anyway.
Even better... you may be already subscribed to one of those "email deal" sites (that you've been meaning to unsubscribe from... but who has the time, really?) and your email trash bin may be holding the pot of gold you need at this moment. Do you recall seeing any "email deals" in your inbox not too long ago for a $39 boudoir session? Boom! Can you say "Winning!" You know this is a solid no-brainer because any professional that is giving away hours worth of effort that boils down to them earning a solid .58 cents per hour for their efforts must be an awesome deal, and furthermore, that photographer must really be on top of their game. Hey...their loss, right!?
Pro Tip: As mentioned, looking at websites is work. --And "work" is a four letter word-- You know what that means... don't do it. Why do this yourself when you can hire a virtual assistant on Fiverr to do this step for you. They can search local boudoir photographers in your area by price...and forward you the cheapest price they find! Perfect! (Just remember to deduct the $5 you had to pay for this "convenience" from your boudoir budget.) And, remember tipping your assistant for their efforts on Fiverr is optional... not gonna happen!
3> Always find the boudoir photographer with the least experience and expertise.
The hidden secret for having great boudoir results perhaps may be the most overlooked. The thing about womens portrait photography is that experience and skills are way over rated, and when it comes down to it, really aren't necessary. The truth is, anyone can do that job and holding a camera really isn't that tough... really, get a grip photographers. Anyone could have painted the Mona Lisa... that guy just happened to do it first!
Photographers are tricky and may not tell you they are new, which is really just an excuse for them to charge you more, but I have thing for you to try. Odds are one of your co-workers probably has a friend who just literally started a boudoir photography business 3 weeks ago... so ask around! As it turns out, you do! How lucky.
Turns out Ashley from receiving has a friend named Debbie that is just starting a boudoir business and bought her "pro" camera on Amazon maybe two weeks ago... so that should be enough, really enough. After all, you taught yourself to play mini-golf in about an hour on that tragic Tinder date last summer... (but let's not rehash that dating miscue... he SO didn't look like his photo in person) so some photographer shouldn't need more than a week to learn what the hell they are doing... after all they are a pro, right?
Debbie just quit running her at-home cupcake business- which totally wasn't her fault at all-- because people just didn't appreciate her strawberry kale cupcakes (but that's another story...) Now Debbie is full-on changing womens lives with her killer 10 day old photography skills and she's out to make you look "fierce." Whoa!
This is really the diamond in the rough opportunity you are looking for and one that will secure success. It may take a bit of work (again...there's that word, sorry) to find the "Debbies" out there but if you're lucky enough this will be a certain home run for your bridal gift. Nice!
Pro Tip: Don't feel like talking to your co-workers? I get it. Me either. You can kick this tip up a notch buy cutting out the middle-man (or woman) all together and going right to the source.... Craigslist. Odds are there's a guy named Barry who is offering "free" boudoir sessions (Did you hear that, FREE!) right from his apartment across town! Barry is an up and comer in the "modeling" business and odds are you have the "look" he is after. Problem solved! It's a win-win for all.
4> Remember: All boudoir photographers are the same.
This point here is really just a bit of repetition of the ones above to drive it home. Hey, someone with a camera is just someone with a camera. They are all interchangeable. Let's face it, the camera is doing all the work, and the "photographer" really is just simply pushing a button and trying to steal the credit. Just because a photographer spends a lot of money on a fancy camera and out pops a nice photo-- it's not like the photographer did the work. --It's only because of the expensive camera. The ego-driven button pusher is merely acting like they did something special, but you can see through that charade. It's not your problem they spent more money on a camera. It's like that time you were at your best friends for dinner and she cooked an out of this world lasagna and you complimented her by saying "Kristi, this lasagna tastes amazing, you must have an expensive oven...." Same thing.
Really, if push comes to shove you could just do this yourself...after all your iPhone has a camera with megapixels, right? Photographers pretty much are just looking to see what they can get away with by over charging unsuspecting women, and that's just mean. You're smarter than that though, and after reading this blog post you're on to their game. So, remember, if you see one photographer charging more than another it's just someone trying to take advantage, and ideally you should call them out-- I know, you would so do this... but you've got stuff to do. #hustleculture I get it. BUT if you did have time you'd send them a smart email to put the in their place, something like Hey Photographer, I'm on to you, and you're not going to fool me. Just like all restaurants are the same--- err. Just like all cars are the same-- Just like all hotels are the same.... um... well, you know what I mean! You're all the same so why are you pretending not to be! 👍 Smart move.
Well, that really ends my collection of anti-tips... you see, there really isn't much more to it than that. Actually, shopping for boudoir is so simplistic originally I could only come up with two anti-tips.... and I had to *throat clear* hire someone on Fiverr myself to come up with a few extra anti-tips for me. You know, SEO purposes....
If you're on the path to boudoir "Meh..." staying true to these tips will indeed guarantee you a solid mediocrity... at best. Thanks for making time to check out this post, and I truly hope your boudoir session turns out a bit more cringe-worthy than you expect! 😀